Most educators and students are tired of bullying prevention programs. After all, they’ve been mostly hearing the same advice for decades. The modern American anti-bullying movement caught fire following the Columbine massacre in Littleton, Colorado, in 1999. Since then, schools have implemented policies, reporting systems, assemblies, posters, curricula, and countless prevention programs.
Yet schools are still struggling with social aggression. Research doesn’t suggest that every bullying prevention program is useless, but it does show that the results have been relatively modest. A systematic review of 100 evaluations of school-based anti-bullying programs found significant reductions in bullying perpetration and victimization overall, while concluding that the average effects were modest.
If your school has invested in bullying prevention and you’re still dealing with the same problems, here are five areas I would look at.
1. You’re Asking Students to Report Problems Instead of Teaching Them to Solve Problems
The fundamental flaw, I believe, of the anti-bullying movement is that it was founded on the belief that targets of social aggression are powerless to change their situation. That’s why traditional approaches have relied so heavily on other people, programs, policies, and procedures to affect change. The advice usually sounds something like this: tell an adult, report it, wait for the school to investigate, and allow someone else to deal with the aggressor.
Adult intervention is absolutely necessary when a student is threatened, physically harmed, or unsafe. But what about the everyday social problems students are capable of learning to solve themselves? When schools focus primarily on reporting, they can unintentionally create a tattletale culture where every minor squabble, disagreement, and annoyance gets reported to the front office. Educators are some of the most overworked people in the world, yet we’re asking them to investigate everything from serious physical aggression to eye-rolling.
Those aren’t the same problems, and they shouldn’t receive the same response. Instead of only asking, “How can we stop the aggressor?” I believe we should also ask, “How can we empower the student who is asking us for help?” They’re the one experiencing the pain, and they’re the one who needs practical skills they can use right now.
That’s youth empowerment, and it’s at the heart of Rethink Bullying®.
2. You’re Trying to Solve an Abstract Problem
One of the biggest challenges with bullying prevention is the word “bullying” itself. There are multiple commonly used definitions, legal requirements vary by state, and some school districts have additional criteria. As I explain in What Is the Definition of Bullying?, the word can be used to describe everything from someone rolling their eyes at another student to someone being severely beaten at a bus stop.
Those are radically different behaviors and require radically different responses. When we label all of them “bullying,” it becomes incredibly difficult to discern the actual problem and determine the appropriate solution. That’s why I prefer the term social aggression and encourage schools to identify the specific behavior taking place.
What actually happened? Was it verbal aggression, criticism, social exclusion, gossip, rude humor, or physical provocation? Specific problems allow us to teach specific solutions instead of trying to solve an abstract problem with a one-size-fits-all response.
3. You’re Using Punishment as the Primary Teaching Tool
Many people associate discipline with punishment, but I believe we need to go back to the meaning behind the word. The root of discipline is connected to disciple—a student. Discipline should be education.
This doesn’t mean students shouldn’t face consequences. It means that if we lean on punishment as the teaching tool, we may miss an enormous opportunity. The American Psychological Association’s review of zero-tolerance discipline found that available evidence tended to contradict many of the assumptions behind rigid, one-size-fits-all punishment and recommended graduated systems of discipline based on the seriousness of the behavior.
If a student behaves aggressively, we need to ask more than, “What punishment do they deserve?” What motivated the behavior? What need were they trying to meet? What were they thinking, and what could they do differently the next time? The incident itself presents a learning opportunity where a student can grow as a result of the challenge and become a better version of themselves.
4. You’re Teaching Skills Without Letting Students Practice Them
One of the most effective ways to empower someone is through role-playing. Through rehearsing scenarios, students are able to practice skills in a safe environment without consequences and receive coaching and feedback. Knowing what to do intellectually and being able to do it when someone has just embarrassed you in front of your friends are two very different things.
Research supports this emphasis on practice. A meta-analysis of 95 studies examining interventions designed to reduce adolescent aggression found that behavioral practice and problem-solving were among the components associated with more effective interventions for general student populations.
That’s why my programs don’t simply tell students that aggression is wrong. I model the skills in front of the group, then we turn practice into a game so students can actually experience what a different response feels like. My two foundational tips for most nonphysical social aggression are incredibly simple: don’t get upset and treat them like a friend.
Students can learn how to stay calm in the moment, allowing them to keep their power and look strong and confident, even if they don’t feel strong and confident. That’s resilience education: giving students practical skills for leveraging adversity rather than simply trying to remove every adversity from their lives.
5. You’re Expecting a One-and-Done Program to Change Behavior
Consistency is the key to behavioral change. An assembly can shift a mindset, teach new skills, model those skills, and get an entire school talking. A poster can remind students of what they learned, while curriculum can reinforce those skills through bite-sized lessons. Counselors can provide small-group and one-on-one support, and professional development can ensure that staff members use the same framework.
The mistake is expecting any one of those pieces to do the entire job. Research supports the need for a sustained approach. The American Psychological Association’s review of decades of bullying research specifically notes that prevention efforts need to be sustained and integrated to create change. You can read that research summary here.
When different staff members use different messaging, it sends mixed messages, causing confusion and reducing efficiency and effectiveness across the board. Adopting a simple intervention framework provides unity, efficiency, and consistency. That’s why I encourage schools to take a needs-based, Schoolwide approach rather than relying on another disconnected program.
Empower Students Instead of Simply Protecting Them From Every Problem
Trying to change the environment around students and expecting a one-and-done approach to solve the problem isn’t enough. Students certainly need adults to protect them from danger, but they also need adults to prepare them for adversity. We can teach students how to identify aggression, manage their emotions, peacefully resolve social conflicts, and recognize when a problem requires adult intervention.
When students learn these skills, they begin to realize that they aren’t powerless. That’s the shift behind Rethink Bullying®, and it changes the focus from simply stopping someone else’s behavior to giving students practical skills they can use for the rest of their lives.
If your school is ready to move beyond awareness and give students and staff practical skills they can actually use, explore my professional development programs for educators and counselors or learn more about our comprehensive, multi-year approach to reducing aggression and raising resilience. Both are designed to help schools move from another one-time initiative toward a consistent strategy for prevention, intervention, and response.
